Abuse Against Men in British Columbia Relationships
- SiLaw Group Family Lawyers
- 2 hours ago
- 4 min read
If you are a man in British Columbia experiencing mistreatment by your partner, you are not alone. Abuse in relationships is often not widely discussed or reported when it involves men, but it is a serious issue that can happen to anyone regardless of their background. Recognizing the signs of abuse is the first step toward safety and recovery for you and your children.
What counts as relationship abuse in British Columbia?
Relationship abuse is a pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over a partner. It is never the victim's fault; the responsibility lies solely with the abuser. Abuse in BC relationships typically falls into several categories:
Emotional and Psychological Abuse
Verbal Attacks: Yelling, insulting, or constantly criticizing you.
Isolation: Preventing you from contacting friends or family.
Surveillance: Checking your phone, internet activity, or reading your private mail and messages.
Threats: Threatening to hurt you, your children, or your pets, or threatening you with deportation.
Financial and Physical Abuse
Financial Control: Limiting your access to bank accounts, making all household money decisions, or running up debt in your name.
Workplace Interference: Preventing you from getting or keeping a job.
Physical Violence: Shoving, slapping, choking, or using weapons/objects to hurt you.
Property Damage: Breaking your personal items or damaging property you value.
When is relationship abuse a crime?
In British Columbia, many forms of abuse are considered crimes under the law:
Physical Assault: When a partner hits, hurts, or threatens to hurt you in a way you believe will happen.
Sexual Assault: Any sexual contact, including unwanted touching or kissing, that occurs without your agreement.
Criminal Harassment (Stalking): A pattern of unwanted attention, such as constant emailing, phoning, or following you, that makes you fear for your safety.
What about relationship abuse in a family law matter?
What is considered "Family Violence" in British Columbia?
Under the BC Family Law Act, family violence is defined broadly and does not require physical contact. For men in BC, abuse often includes:
Emotional & Verbal Abuse: Constant yelling, insults, or threats of deportation.
Psychological Control: Checking your phone, monitoring your internet activity, or isolating you from friends and family.
Financial Abuse: Controlling all household money, preventing you from working, or running up debts in your name.
Physical & Sexual Assault: Shoving, slapping, choking, or forcing unwanted sexual acts.
Legal Intimidation: Threatening to use the court system to take your children away or kidnap them.
How does abuse affect Family Law cases in BC?
In British Columbia courts, the presence of family violence is a critical factor in legal outcomes:
Best Interests of the Child: The court's primary concern is the safety and well-being of the children. Evidence of abuse can significantly impact parenting time and decision-making responsibilities.
Protection Orders: You can apply for a protection order to legally restrain an abusive partner from contacting you or coming near your home and workplace.
Criminal Harassment: Stalking—including constant unwanted texting or following—is a crime in BC, and the law protects men from this behavior.
Why many men stay (and how to break the cycle)
Society often expects men to be "strong" protectors, which can make it difficult to admit to being a victim. You may stay because you are afraid for your children's safety, feel financially dependent, or believe "it’s not that bad". Recognition is the first step toward getting help. There are many complex reasons why men remain with abusive partners, often tied to societal expectations:
Social Pressure: Men are often expected to be "strong" or the "protector," leading to feelings that they deserve the abuse or have failed their role.
Concern for Children: Staying to ensure the safety of children or to maintain a role in their lives.
Isolation and Fear: Thinking no one will believe them, feeling financially dependent, or lacking a social support network.
How can men get help in British Columbia?
Abuse is not a "private family matter," and help is available whether you choose to stay or leave the relationship.
Immediate Support Resources
VictimLinkBC: Provides 24/7 confidential, multilingual support and referrals. Call or text 1-800-563-0808 or email VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca.
BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Therapeutic services for those sexually abused at any point in their lives. Call 604-682-6482 (Vancouver) or 1-888-682-6482 (BC).
Men’s Therapy Centre: Support for men who have experienced trauma. Call 250-381-6367 (Victoria) or 1-866-793-6367 (BC).
Local Legal Resources in Surrey, B.C.
Legal Aid BC – Family Law Centre (Surrey): This program is specifically designed to help survivors of family violence who cannot afford legal representation. They provide a lawyer and an advocate to help resolve family law cases and stabilize overlapping legal issues.
Sources Community Law Clinic: Located on 72A Avenue in Surrey, this clinic offers free legal advocacy and information regarding family law and poverty law.
Phone: 778-735-1368
Address: #105 – 13771 72A Avenue, Surrey, BC
Indigenous Justice Centre (Surrey): Provides free legal and outreach services for Indigenous peoples facing criminal or child protection issues.
Specialized Support for Men in Surrey, British Columbia
BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Surrey Branch): Offers therapeutic services, justice system information, and court accompaniment for male-identifying persons who have experienced sexual or domestic abuse.
Surrey Phone: 672-963-9931
Email: surreyvs@bc-malesurvivors.com
Sources Men Supporting Healthy Relationships: Provides specialized counselling for men in the Surrey area.
Phone: 604-538-2522
Options South Asian Information and Crisis Line (Surrey): A dedicated crisis line for the South Asian community in Surrey.
Phone: 604-596-4357
If you cannot reach a local Surrey office, these 24/7 services can direct you to the nearest available support:
Service | Contact Information | Purpose |
VictimLinkBC | 1-800-563-0808 | 24/7 confidential support and referrals. |
BC211 | Dial 2-1-1 | Connects you to local community and social services. |
Family LawLINE | 604-408-2172 | Free legal advice via telephone for the Greater Vancouver area. |
Legal and Safety Planning
If you are concerned for your safety, start by telling someone you trust and creating a safety plan. Our Famiy Law firm and White Rock Family Lawyers located in B.C. can provide advice on your rights and how the court system can help protect you and your children from continued harassment. Contact SiLaw Group
to book a free 30 minute telephone, virtual or in person consultation - no strings attached to pressure to retain our services.
Our offices are located in South Surrey, British Columbia.
