Reconciliation, Second Separations and Back Child Support

Author: SiLaw Group Family Lawyers
Published: Aug 10, 2026

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Many separated couples try again. Some get back together more than once before they part for good. If that sounds like your family, child support can get tangled quickly. Was support owing during the months you lived together again? What about arrears that built up before you reconciled? And once the final separation happens, can you still claim support for past years?

Child support is your child's right

The Supreme Court of Canada's decision in D.B.S. v. S.R.G., 2006 SCC 37 lays the foundation. Child support is the right of the child, and parents cannot bargain it away. The duty to pay support that matches the paying parent's income exists on its own — it does not depend on a court order. So if a parent's income went up but their payments did not, the Court said there remains an unfulfilled obligation that a court may later enforce.

That principle matters in reconciliation cases. Getting back together for a while does not change whose right support is, and it does not erase what the law expected of each parent during the periods you lived apart.

What happens to support while you are reconciled?

A recent BC decision deals with this directly. In K.M. v. N.M., 2024 BCSC 1650, the parents separated, signed a support agreement, and then reconciled four separate times before their final split. Both parents accepted that no child support was payable during the months they were genuinely back together, and the court proceeded on that basis. The Family Maintenance Enforcement Program's records treated those months the same way.

Just as important: reconciling did not wipe out the parents' agreement. Support under it applied again once each reconciliation ended. And when the paying parent asked the court to reduce his arrears because of the reconciliations, the court called the request unfounded — no support had been payable during those months in the first place, so there was nothing to cancel. Reconciliation paused the obligation while the family was under one roof; it was not a reset button for everything owed before or after.

Does it matter how long you were back together?

In K.M., the length of each reconciliation mattered mostly as a question of proof. The father described three long reconciliations stretching over several years. The mother described four shorter ones. The court worked through ICBC address records, credit card statements and tax documents to decide when the couple was actually living together — and largely accepted the mother's timeline. Every month of genuine reconciliation was a month with no support payable, so the difference between the two versions was worth real money.

The lesson for you is practical: keep records. Dates you moved in together, dates you moved out, and documents that show where each of you actually lived can decide these disputes years later.

Claiming past support after the final separation

Once you have separated for good, D.B.S. sets the framework for retroactive claims. Courts weigh the reason for the delay in asking, the paying parent's conduct, the child's circumstances, and whether a retroactive award would cause hardship. As a general rule, an award reaches back to the date of "effective notice" — which just means the topic was broached; no court filing is needed — but usually no more than three years before formal notice. If the paying parent behaved in a blameworthy way, such as hiding income increases, the award can reach further back, to when their circumstances materially changed.

Reconciliation fits into this framework in a helpful way. In Michel v. Graydon, 2020 SCC 24, the concurring reasons note that courts have accepted many understandable explanations for delay in applying — including ongoing discussions aimed at reconciliation. Trying to save your relationship is not held against you as "sitting on your rights."

Michel also answered a bigger question. Where there is an existing child support order, BC courts can vary it retroactively even if the child is now an adult and the order has expired. In that case, a father had understated his income for years under a consent order, and the Supreme Court of Canada restored a $23,000 retroactive award even though the application came after his daughter was grown.

But K.M. shows the limits. That family had only an agreement, never a support order. The court held it could not hear an original retroactive claim for the older child, who was no longer a "child" under the legislation when the application was filed — though it could, and did, order retroactive support for the younger child for 2017 through 2023 based on the father's actual income. Waiting too long can cost a claim entirely, and the mother's 2018 emails asking for financial disclosure were what counted as effective notice.

What this means for you

If you reconciled and separated again, three things are worth doing early. Raise support squarely — even an email can be effective notice. Keep records of when you lived together and apart. And exchange income information every year, because unshared income increases are a common root of retroactive claims.

Questions about arrears, past support, or how a reconciliation affects your situation? Learn more about our child support services or Book a free consultation with our team.

This post is legal information, not legal advice.