Mediation, Arbitration & Out-of-Court Resolution

Why most families are better served out of court

When a relationship ends, court is not the only road forward, and for most families it is not the healthiest one. A trial means a judge who has never met your children makes lasting decisions about your family. Out-of-court resolution keeps that decision-making power closer to home.

There are practical reasons to stay out of the courtroom:

• Control. You and your former partner shape the outcome, instead of leaving it to a stranger.
• Privacy. Court proceedings can become public. Mediation and arbitration happen behind closed doors.
• Speed and cost. Court schedules are crowded. Private processes move at your pace and typically cost less than litigation.
• Relationships. If you are raising children together, you will be in each other's lives for years. A respectful process is easier on that relationship.

BC family law actively encourages families to resolve disputes by agreement wherever possible. Whether you are working through a separation or a divorce, the real question is which process fits your situation.

Three ways to resolve a family dispute without a trial

Family mediation

Mediation is a facilitated negotiation. A neutral mediator helps you and your former partner talk through the issues (parenting time, support, property) and reach your own agreement. The mediator does not take sides, does not decide anything for you, and does not give either of you legal advice. Mediation fits well when both of you are willing to negotiate, even if you are far apart right now. Read more about mediation in Surrey.

Family arbitration

Family arbitration in BC is a private process where a qualified arbitrator hears both sides and makes a binding decision. Think of it as a private, less formal alternative to a courtroom: you get a decision, but on your schedule and out of the public eye. Arbitration fits when you have tried to agree and cannot, or when a few stubborn issues need deciding so the rest of your life can move forward.

Parenting coordination

Parenting coordination helps parents implement an existing parenting plan and resolve the day-to-day disputes that come up afterward: schedule changes, holidays, activities, communication breakdowns. It is designed for high-conflict situations where small disagreements keep growing into big ones, and it helps keep those disputes out of the courtroom.

All three processes under one roof

Sandy Sihota is an accredited family law mediator, arbitrator and parenting coordinator, all three. That matters because SiLaw Group Family Lawyers does not refer these processes out: we run them, at our South Surrey office. We are a boutique firm, family law is the only kind of law we practise, and we serve clients in English and Punjabi.

Co-mediation for complex or multi-party matters

Some disputes are too large for one mediator: several family members with a stake in the outcome, cross-generational conflict, or a long list of issues. For those, Sandy co-mediates with Kamaljit Kaur Lehal, KC of Lehal Law in Delta, a certified civil and family mediator who trained through Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation and is fluent in Punjabi. Two mediators work the case as one team: one can question while the other observes, and each can meet privately with one party at the same time. Lehal Law describes the arrangement on its co-mediation page, and our mediation page explains how a co-mediation with us runs.

What mediation with our firm looks like

1. A separate conversation with each of you. We speak with each person privately first. This is where we screen for safety concerns and power imbalances, and where you can speak freely.
2. Preparation. We identify the issues, and each of you gathers the information needed, usually financial disclosure, so the discussion is grounded in facts.
3. Mediation sessions. Held in person at our office or by video. The mediator keeps the conversation productive and focused on solutions, not blame.
4. Your agreement, in writing. If you reach a resolution, the terms are recorded so they can become one of the family law agreements we draft, with independent legal advice for each of you before signing.

The honest caveat: mediation is not right for every case

Where there has been family violence, intimidation, or a significant power imbalance, sitting across a table from your former partner may be unfair or unsafe. That is why screening is built into the process: those separate first conversations exist to catch it. If mediation is not appropriate, arbitration or lawyer-led negotiation may still keep you out of a courtroom. And sometimes court genuinely is the right place. An honest process starts by telling you which one you are in.

Frequently asked questions

Is a family arbitration decision binding in BC?

Yes. When you agree to arbitrate, you are both agreeing in advance that the arbitrator's decision will bind you. That is what makes arbitration a genuine alternative to a trial: it produces an answer, not just a discussion. How an award would apply to your situation is a good question for a consultation.

Should I choose mediation or arbitration?

Start with how you and your former partner make decisions. If you can still negotiate, even uncomfortably, mediation lets you keep control of the outcome. If talks have truly stalled, arbitration gets you a decision without a courtroom. Some families use both: they mediate what they can, then arbitrate whatever is left.

Do I still need my own lawyer if we mediate?

It is wise. A mediator stays neutral and cannot give either of you legal advice, so independent legal advice, especially before you sign an agreement, helps you understand what you are agreeing to. This page is legal information, not legal advice.

Talk it through, free

Not sure which process fits your family? We offer a free 30-minute consultation by phone, video, or in person at our South Surrey office at 3108 Croydon Drive, Suite 201, in English or Punjabi.

Book a free consultation or call (778) 381-9977.