Coercive Control and BC Family Law

When Control Is the Abuse

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 now.

Coercive control is a pattern, not a single bad day. It can look like being watched and followed, cut off from your own money, kept from family and friends, or worn down by threats and constant monitoring. Many people living inside it are never hit, and many wonder for years whether what is happening to them "counts." In British Columbia, it does.

SiLaw Group Family Lawyers is a boutique family law and mediation firm in South Surrey. Family law is the only kind of law we practise, and we work in English and Punjabi. What you tell us stays confidential, and we ask how and when it is safe to contact you before we reach out. This page explains how the family law side responds to coercive control; it is part of our wider family violence services.

Coercive Control Fits BC's Definition of Family Violence

BC's Family Law Act defines "family violence" in section 1, and the definition applies whether or not there was any intent to harm. It includes physical and sexual abuse and attempts at either. Just as importantly, it includes psychological or emotional abuse of a family member, and the Act spells out what that covers:

• intimidation, harassment, coercion or threats, including threats about other people, pets or property;
• unreasonable restrictions on, or prevention of, a family member's financial or personal autonomy;
• stalking or following; and
• intentional damage to property.

For a child, direct or indirect exposure to family violence is itself family violence.

The definition does not use the everyday phrase coercive control, but the Act speaks directly to the pattern. When courts assess family violence, the statute directs them to consider whether psychological or emotional abuse "constitutes, or is evidence of, a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour." Controlling the money, the phone, the friendships and the daily choices of a spouse is squarely within what BC family law recognizes.

How Coercive Control Affects Parenting Decisions

When a court makes decisions about guardianship, parenting arrangements or contact, it must consider the best interests of the child only. Under section 37(2) of the Family Law Act, those factors include the impact of any family violence on the child's safety, security or well-being, and whether the person responsible for family violence may be impaired in their ability to care for the child and meet the child's needs.

Section 38 then tells the court how to assess that violence: its nature and seriousness, how recently and how often it occurred, whether the child was exposed to it, and, expressly, whether psychological or emotional abuse shows a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour. The Act also says an agreement or order is not in the best interests of a child unless it protects, to the greatest extent possible, the child's physical, psychological and emotional safety, security and well-being.

In plain terms, a controlling pattern matters in a parenting case even where there was never a physical assault. You can read more about how courts approach parenting arrangements and the best interests of the child.

Protection Orders Can Respond to Coercive Control

Under Part 9 of the Family Law Act, a court may make a protection order where family violence is likely to occur and a family member is at risk. The order can restrain contact and communication, keep a person away from your home, school or workplace, set limits on how any communication happens, and deal with weapons. When deciding whether to make one, the court must consider risk factors that include whether psychological or emotional abuse shows a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, and whether the violence is repetitive or escalating. Unless the court orders otherwise, a protection order expires one year after it is made, so timing and renewal need attention.

Our guide to family protection orders in British Columbia walks through the process step by step.

The Criminal and Civil Paths

Parliament has enacted a Criminal Code offence aimed at coercion and control of an intimate partner. When we published our detailed guide, the offence was not yet in force. For what the new offence says, who it covers and where things stand, read our post on the coercive control criminal offence.

On the civil side, the Supreme Court of Canada has recognized a tort in this area, and our post on what Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia means for families in British Columbia explains the decision.

Building the Record

Because coercive control is a pattern, the record matters. As general suggestions, and only where it is safe to do so: keep messages and emails rather than deleting them, note dates and details of incidents while they are fresh, and consider telling your doctor or counsellor what is happening so that the pattern is documented over time. Every situation is different, and what is safe to keep, and where, is part of the conversation to have with a lawyer.

One process note: where there is coercive control or a serious power imbalance, mediation may not be safe or fair, and we will tell you honestly when court is the better path.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Coercive Control Family Violence Under BC Law?

Yes. The Family Law Act's definition of family violence includes psychological or emotional abuse, and it names coercion, harassment, threats, stalking and unreasonable restrictions on a family member's financial or personal autonomy. The Act's assessment sections refer directly to a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour.

Do I Need Physical Injuries Before a Court Will Take This Seriously?

No. The definition does not require physical harm, and the sections on parenting decisions and protection orders both direct courts to look at psychological and emotional abuse, including controlling patterns.

Can Men Experience Coercive Control?

Yes. Family violence has no single profile, and neither do the people affected by it. We wrote about abuse against men in British Columbia relationships because that experience is real and often unspoken.

What If I Am the One Being Accused?

Take it seriously and get advice early. Follow any order that is already in place, keep your communications calm and businesslike, and be fully open with your lawyer. How you respond can shape your parenting case and the rest of your file.

Talk to a Coercive Control Lawyer in BC

You do not have to have decided anything before you call. The first 30 minutes with us are free, by phone, video, or in person in South Surrey, in English or Punjabi. Call (778) 381-9977 or Book Now for a Free Consultation.

This page is legal information, not legal advice. For advice about your own situation, speak with a lawyer.